The “BIG BIG ISSUE!!” Revealed…From Sincere…

October 10, 2012 Leave a comment

I’ve been trying to convey what has been bothering me for a while, rather it was to my own girlfriend or my own godparents. As always my godparents always help me see what the issue is within myself, or at times my own relationships. That is without biased opinion, depending on the situation at hand my god parents always play both sides to balance out both sides of my problem to cover all bases…Most times they come correct, even when we are having our “parent-child problems”.

 

Then other times, I pretty much find some reading to do. To try and solve the issue myself, granted I really make it a priority to keep the “outside influences” to a minimum. Even when I may feel I should contact my bestfriend, or my homie B-Inglish (you’ll eventually see more blogs of him aforementioned to come…). For I may not practice what I preach at all times, but no one sees when I do…Or even when they do see it I just simply do not care for any recognition in the first place.

 

The point of me finally breaking my silence through my blog, is due to the reason I just simply refuse to not speak about something. Especially when I rely heavily on COMMUNICATION, for I really believe that is the key to a successful relationship. No matter what the dynamics or anything else are, COMMUNICATION will get us both to the promise land…in hopes of that promise land is the altar.

 

On to the main point, there is a reader in particular I am aiming to reach in particular. That reader would be my loving girlfriend, Why? she must be thinking, simple.. because she claimed we have been “going through it” for about 3 months now. When in my own eyes that is far from how long we’ve been going back and forth, when it has only been about a month now…If not a little under or maybe longer give or take. Now where I’m going with this stemmed from an article I read, that was shared with me through my godmother. Her and myself are always talking about any and everything, which is why I love my godparents. When they are not on that bullsh*t…Moving along.

 

To read the article I will be speaking on can be found in this link HERE…
It is very few things that bother me in our relationship, I just want to clear the air about that in general. It was brought up about the things she may or may not do that I do not favor. I refused to answer because I’d prefer to keep the bullsh*t down sometimes, but this should be a little insight as to what has been really affecting me. Besides the things that has transpired over the last 3 weeks within my supposed “family”, was a few things that ultimately made me feel as if my version of Rome (or Paradise) has burned down in less that 1 day.

 

The article that was read, spoke on 7 ways to nurture your relation ship again which can be read in the link above or if your lazy like I am the link is HERE.

I will also speak on why I feel as if our relationship lacks or excels in each of those 7 ways to nurture ones relationship:

“1. Have sex – Nothing like cutting to the chase, huh? I know, you’re completely spent by the end of the day. Twenty seconds lying in the horizontal position and you’re already sawing logs. I get it, but consider this; sexual intercourse helps maintain feelings of intimacy and happiness that stand the test of time.” <~> My take on this as far our relationship goes is something that shall not be spoken about through this blog, but me and my love have spoke on the terms in regard to this. Though I do stand by way 1, but again tha is just that…

2. Spend time together – Remember early on when you were both dying to spend every waking moment together? Now you’re lucky if you can squeeze in a meal together. While no one is asking you to ditch the kids and work in favor of each other, make togetherness a priority. It doesn’t even matter how you spend your time, just so long as you’re together.”<~> Now I will say I honestly believe I make a valiant effort to see my love(s) every chance I get, I may not make it to church every Sunday or over to her parents house to kick it with everyone as a whole. Though I can say I was very consistent in the opening act of our relationship. Now money is kinda funny, I still make it a priority to see them even it is my last in my pocket.

3. Think happy thoughts about your partner – According to Psychology Today, folks in lasting relationships engage in “sentiment override”, meaning they remember more positive than negative experiences about their partner. Choosing to focus on your partner’s annoyances hinder feelings of gratitude and positivity toward your partner.”<~> I cannot speak for her, I can on ly speak for myself. Even in our time of issues, I still wake up every day thinking of her face, her smile. Along with other thoughts, I’ll refrain from mentioning at this given time. Though I will go on to say no matter what goes on between us, I have tried to make her my everything as she asked. It may seem no effort on my end in her eyes, but I wouldnt know given she has told me much of anything in regard to this…

4. Show some love – Never underestimate the power of affection in your relationship. Comforting hugs, tender kisses, and even listening touches speak volumes to your partner without saying a word.”<~>

Simple right? Nah, not as it is perceived to be. I wish I still had these comforting hugs, and even tender kisses…I’ve tried so as far as cuddling or even going as far as to fall asleep on her with my arm around her as she is busy on her computer, It has worked then again has not. But this is one of the main reasons I’ve personally been shutting down, I mean as far as hearing her tell me “I told you so..” countless times in what has happened within my life over the course of 3 weeks, I simply would rather hear those words as I’m hugged or told its going to be ok…or something. I hope that is not asking for much, I also had fun cooking chimichanga’s with her, but I really wanted the physical side of being full afterward. Which is what initially furthered my shutdown process.

5. Be happy – People who have positive feelings toward life actually have stronger feelings of love toward their partner! Just as negative feelings about life can affect your relationship negatively, positive feelings can affect your relationship positively. Engage in activities that bring you personal joy, and reap the benefit of personal passion with your partner.”<~> Now I know my pessimism usually can be the start of a roaring flame that’ll destroy everything in its path. Just most times I cannot help it, call something I have not matured on. Or possibly grown out of, it is what it has to be. I just would love to be happy when I’m around my woman, so it takes me away from the reality of the harsh world we all live in…That is what your significant other is suppose to aid with right?

6. Get flirty – Show your partner they’ve still got it with a little innocent flirting. A naughty squeeze, playful text, or extra long kiss is just what every relationship needs to keep those embers burning.”<~> Now this one I honestly overstep, because of said issue earlier in this blog, So I will not even go as far as to elaborate anything on this note.

7. Miss your partner – Sure, he’s only at work, but that doesn’t mean he’s far from your thoughts. Up the aww factor and let him know he was missed.”As mentioned in earlier in the blog, I miss my woman more than she could possibly think. I tried to convey this as much as I come around but I see I’m going to need more than my mere presence as a present…See what I did there? You see it…

 

I hope you got some idea as to why I’ve written this, or you could use this as a checklist when engaging in conversation whenever. I decided to write about this inplace of going off the random rant struggling for a point to been seen in a mess of angry words…So just know I do love you regardless of what you may think….L.W.D 4-22-12….

Either good sex or no sex!l

There are many reasons why people take an oath of celibacy and I for one have taken the vow numerous times until now. This time I’m foreal and don’t give me the side eye! Since 2008 ive been doing abstinence all wrong whether it was giving up sex for lent to be back at it months later, only giving oral sex or only having sex with one guy while talking to many to even sexing that one guy on super rare occasions (like a 6 month drought that needed quenching because I feared I will forget what a dick look like. lol) for all those reasons maybe more I was convincing myself that I was legit with my vow.

So what has changed and whats my reason for pledging celibacy now?
While it’s an accumulation of many things the main reason is this: The reason im good with no sex is because I want great sex! EITHER ITS GREAT SEX FOR ME OR ITS NO SEX FOR ME! I’ve been playing this abstain game long enough to withstand the fire until I can get the great sex that I deserve. AND JUST HOW DO I KNOW ITS GREAT without sampling?

Simple.

I will know when the guy feelings for me mirrors exactly the love I have for him. When actions speak louder than words. When hand holding becomes damn near erotic and I’m feening for a kiss on the lips because the forehead kiss made me wet my panties like a granny or a baby. You choose the most visual one lmao!

I have a past – shoot we all do but anyway my sexual past havent been the most pleasing, at least to me. I can count on a hand the most memorable times and that’s a damn shame. I’m being honest here so believe me when I say ive been fucked good but never fucked right or loved perfectly. I don’t need music or dancing during sex but I crave passion and creativity. There is not one man on this earth that can claim I gave him the best/all of me and why? BECAUSE HE DIDNT WOULDNT COULDNT DO THE SAME FOR ME! only the man I marry will know the full extent of my escapades and talents. I’m sorry fellas if you felt you were doing ME right but you can’t possibly do ME right if you doing others as well, ESPECIALLY if you doing the others the same way you did me grrrr. You gotta do better!

Until then I am completely happy and satisfied writing erotica and keeping the cootchie closed. When I don’t have to ask for head because getting it is  automatic just like giving you head is…When you quit being selfish and keep going so I can nut too…when you stop being so domineering and boring and let me ride or use hand cuffs and food…. when you take the time to kiss and massage and explore my body and its wonders….. when you quit bitching and realize foreplay and roleplay is necessary… when you know dirty talk during and after sex is not necessary BECAUSE “baby whats my name” and “who’s pussy is it” just gotta stop! Please!!!!!….when whats after sex is just as important during…..hold me or at least stay in bed and lets talk honestly and open about the likes and dislikes of this thang we got going on….when i don’t have to fear a dirty dick from someone elses dirty pussy or ass (the way y’all dirty asses lmao get down nowadays)….when adventure and trying new things excites us….when the ring is on the left finger and the sex has the potential to be so damn good I forget im at church that I’m giving a testimony about the wrong thang, THEN AND ONLY THEN will I break my vow. Again I say it’s either GREAT SEX OR NO SEX. and don’t give me that side eye look either!

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Dont Hold Your Applause For Me.

February 12, 2012 Leave a comment

It’s been a while since I’ve been seen on this blog right? I been silent, wasn’t really anything to write about. Life has been at a standstill for me, I haven’t really spoke. To chocobunny, nor have I spoken to Goldie that much, it’s our 2nd year in this blog as a group.

I wish us all the best and I’ll be back later this week with a more elaborative post…

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My challenge

I’ve decided to do a 14 days of love tweet fest/ facebook post fest thingy. It’s not about the likes or retweets but it’s to definitely say hey listen im single as a dollar bill but I know how to love. To be able to sit back and share with you guys what I have learned in this short life. So I hope you all enjoy.

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Am I too old for this?

January 23, 2012 Leave a comment

Dear TheSingleTrio.

I’ve been invited to a party Yayyyyy!  And we all know how good it feels to be invited, this time I’m not so sure. The question is should I go or not? It is a party for a girl who is coming of age, she’s turning 18  and I understand that it is a big step. I am flattered that she requested my presence there but I’m knocking on 25 do I really want to go to an 18 year old party. Because it’s at Lucky Strikes Novi, my answer is Yes but because this 18 year old wants me to find a club for her to go to my answer is No! What club can a 24 year take a newly 18year old too and not feel like a chaperone. I dont even club or party like that unless I’m with fam. And I’m not buying drinks for these kids. I have never seen her with anykids her age. My little sister is 11 and they act like the best of friends. Because of who she is I love her and can mentor her but to be 18 nad have no idea/ clue as to how the world works or the proper attitude or even basic job training/ looking skills what am I to do. Then it’s the fact that I tried to be nice and say Amber Riley from Glee but my mama and granny both seem to think  and I quote, “The perfect spongebob square pants”. There isn’t anyway I can make this young woman in age look like, act, think like a young woman without being a millionaire. Idk. I got love for her the girl like I said but not enough to go to her party and be the only grown up with a 18 y/o and the rest 16, 13 and 11 year olds. What should I do?

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Am I a golddigger?

January 19, 2012 Leave a comment
Dear TheSingleTrio,
 
I wanna know if I am a golddigger.There’s this guy that really likes me and I dont know how many times I have told him No and that I’m not interested in him in anyway UNTIL he offers to do my business cards and take me out to Mongolian BBQ or P.F Changs. ( either one it’s my decision he says) Now how can I say no to the things that I need and the places I’ve been trying to go to for a while now? I mean isnt is really all his fault because it’s obvious to me thta he offereing these services as a ploy for me to agree to see him. TST I need to know am I a gold digger? what should I do?
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Whats the best way to leave a fuck buddy?

January 19, 2012 1 comment

Dear TheSingleTrio,

I want to know how to you break it off with a fuckbuddy/FWBs or just anyone that you dont want to talk to or be in your life anymore? Or what is the best way to go about the seperation? I’ve tried not saying anything and never returning calls but that hasn’t been working. I’ve even tried to text or call and say it’s over  but they dont seem to believe me or get the picture. Basically the last two days I had to invite two guys over to tell them that Im not interested in anything but friendship with them anymore and that if they can respect my wishes then they shouldn’t no longer contact me. I hate hearing grown men beg but if silence and a text didnt work then what do you do?

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